How was your day dear......

How was my day....
Well that isn't too hard to answer, lately my days are a series of..

Eat your breakfast boys
Don't hit your brother
Don't tease your brother
Then go to the potty
No cookies
Eat your lunch first
No television
Stop hitting your brother
Please boys 5 minutes
No don't write on the table
No glue downstairs
Scissors!! Who gave you scissors??
Ack!! He is doing what?
No splashing
No, mommy loves you very much, but darling please please don't flush things down the toilet
No, don't zip your brother in the toy holder
OK seriously, How many times do I have to ask you not to jump on your bed?
Is it bedtime, oh hell it is only 10:30am.
What did you do to your brother?
Stop it!
Don't hold the praying mantis!
That dog doesn't belong to us, do not let it in this house
You are not eating a tootsie roll sandwich for dinner
How on earth do you miss the toilet seat?


Why is it my bath time gets later and later if at all. Sometimes I don't see my tub until eleven o'clock or even midnight.
I sure do miss the spa.
People.. I miss people.
Who said having kids 23 months apart was smart?
Who said boys are easier?
Who said have a third? God, I am so glad I did not listen to you people.
I don't care what the stock market is doing, I am buying stock in Mirena IUC's. Heck if I could give them out to all the mom's at Halloween I would.

Witch-A-Pa-Loooooo-Za!!!!!

Every year at Gardner Village the Witches come out to play. The boys love to go. Conner is no longer afraid of them and wants his picture with them. Evan although not afraid of them, does not want to be in a picture with them. He insists, we missed one this year and reminds us daily we need to go back.
It was a fabulous fall day, the weather could not have been more perfect. Conner and Evan are becoming such little men, it is amazing. We love to watch them grow.
Their favorite part of the event is stopping at the Sweet Shoppe to pick out an Olde Fashioned candy treat. Truth be told we all enjoy that stop. Sweets you cannot find but we all remember from our childhood.

Moms and Dads are sooooo different....

This morning Michael and I are talking in the office, out of the corner of my eye, I can see the kids at the bottom of the basement stairs, things are flying, blankets, stuffies, hangers, so I pause, look at Michael....
"uhm, hun....."
"yea yea yea I got it I'm on it, it is handled."
So I try to finish telling him the things I need done since I will be out of the house today. I can hardly hear my self think much less keep a train of thought because the boys are screaming so loud. I take a step back, look at the kids, look at Michael, raise one eyebrow....
"Micheal, did you want me to..."
"Git, git git, I have it."
"You have it?"
"YES!"
Ok then, I am off to take a shower, but by the time I head up two flights of stairs, the bear erupts.
"What on earth are you two doing? I can't leave you alone for a second!" Now I can only assume he joined in the fun because that was followed by a ton of laughter. Oh and... the hallway is still a mess. <>

Just fooling around

Just messing around with a collage maker. I need to send photos off to my grandmother and she likes them in a collage. This is a new program for me. So why the heck not.

Autumn Harvest Festival

Sure to be the first of many but the boys had a blast and we loved the autumn day.
Picked apples, fresh cider, squashes, pumpkins, hayrides games. The boys growing so fast.





And it reminds me of my most favorite Spock's Beard song....
Ghosts of Autumn...If it were on You Tube I would post the link.

Listen to the whisper of the rain
Voices in the mist
Beyond your window
And you remember
Days of love she spun a web of chains
That wrapped around your heart
And when you held her
You held forever


Green to grey
As forever slipped away
And down through the years
The seasons changed
Still a cold wind blows today
No sun to melt the frost
Because she's lost among the
GHOSTS OF AUTUMN

Fate's a quiet river at your feet
It rose up slow and dark
Without a warning
And pulled you under
Now she's gone but haunting every dream
Scattered on the wind
And in the rolling
Of distant thunder

Green to grey
As forever slipped away
And down through the years
The seasons changed
Still a cold wind blows today
No sun to melt the frost
Because she's lost among the
GHOSTS OF AUTUMN

Our ManTina

Two days ago, on the way home from taking Evan to Preschool, Conner and his Auntie Shari discovered a huge fat praying mantis on the bricks. Conner said, "mommy please catch it." Ok, how can a mommy say no? I go into the house and get something to catch it with and off to the bushes am I.

Safely caught and no worse for the wear I take the Mantis in the house. We have an unused critter carrier since we are hermit crab owners. Into the tank. Michael is against this. But then again he has just had oral surgery. Well, fast forward we have to pick up Evan and Drop off Conner for Kindergarten. On the way home from drop-off Evan and I stop off to buy some cricket to feed the thing.
OK settle at home. Ready to feed.

MICHAEL!!!!! MICHAEL GET IN HERE!!!!! The gosh darn thing is spewing creamy bubbles from her behind. She is laying eggs. Well hells bells. I did not sign on for that. Ont to the internet to research all of this. What have I gotten myself into? Ok the sac is complete, and so nice and neat I might add. In go the crickets. DANG! They never had a chance. Giving birth can make a praying mantis hungry. We have been back to the pet store a few times for more. She seems to enjoy them.

Conner embarks on the big bad world of Kindergarten

I must say, the first week of Kindergarten has been a bit tough on the big guy. He was so excited to start. It never entered my mind that school would not be fabulous for him. All in all I would say he loves it. At least likes it. He hates to leave. He is sad that he doesn't have any friends. I am sad that kids can be so cruel. Conner is such a sweet hearted, innocent boy. I thought that was a good thing. Sadly he is a little naive. Everyday seems to get just a little bit better for him. He is a very smart little boy. He just needs to figure out how to use that.
We adore him and we love his teacher, Mrs. Broderick.

I will never understand...

http://www.kutv.com/content/news/topnews/story.aspx?content_id=86fc962d-8cd5-4b9e-98d3-e78968957b56

I breaks my heart every day to read stories like this, mom leaves infant hot car, mom murders infant, mom microwaves baby? How on earth do thoughts like this even enter the mind? As a mom of two boys, two very busy boys that love to use my every last nerve as a trampoline, I could not even consider such actions. Yet, you hear about this almost every day. My life is no bag of cherries, especially not right now, but it takes so little to love a child.
"...it starts with a smile, and after a while, a hug and a kiss it takes no more than this, to love a child."

So many people are willing to give love to others, if you aren't willing to love your child then give someone else the chance to.

Ahhhhh they grow up.

Tomorrow is the big day. My five year old will walk off into the big big world and never look back. He has no clue if we are sending him to school or if we are sending him off to go work in a sweat house. All he knows is what he knows. We hope as parents the other kids will like him, he won't pee his pants, he won't be the one that makes fun of others or gets made fun of. But as the mom, I have no idea what it is he will take with him to school.
It took me a full 45 minutes this morning to fill out the mountain of paperwork given to me by his teacher on the day we met her for his first assessment. But when I got to the very last page (strategically placed I am sure), I began to sob. And here is why:

The First Day
I gave you a little wink and smile
As you entered my room today
For I know how hard it is to leave
And know your child must stay.
You've been with him for five years now
And have been a loving guide
But now, alas, the time has come
To leave him at my side.
Just know that as you drive away
And tears down your cheek may flow
I'll love him as I would my own
And help him learn and grow.
For as a parent, I too know
How quickly the years do pass
And one day not long ago it was my turn
To take my child to class.
So please put your mind at ease
And cry those tease no more
For I will love him and take him in
When you leave him at my door.

Love,
Mrs. Broderick

(poem written by Jamie Solley)

So tomorrow off he will go. Am I ready? No way. Do I need to push him out of the nest. Yes, you betcha!
Good luck my baby boy! I love you!

Finger Painting goes Awry!!!!!

Ok, so I set up poster paper and grabbed the finger paints and giant stamps. The day was gorgeous. Let's take off our shoes and socks and finger paint, stamp and have some fun!!!
Now, I could tell those boys were just itchin' to get paint on mom. I did have on a white shirt and they certainly know better. So........ I threw the first paint and oooooh boy what fun we had. Talk about crazy pain flying everywhere. It was a blast. When it was over, I stripped them down and hosed them off then off to the showers. Ahhhhhhh, summer fun.

Evan's First Day at Preschool

What a special day for such a special boy. He did great! Kids all around him were screaming bloody murder and having to be peeled from their parents. Not Evan. He dropped my hand and said, "See ya, mom". In the door he went and I did not see him again. For a moment I felt a bit slighted, but he is growing up. He loves Mrs. Butterfield. Sadly, school is not often enough or long enough for him. He wants more.

This mommy needs a life....

I was recently part of a mom pal exchange and part of her gift I made note cards for her. I love them, but dang... I need to find a job soon

Parental Lesson 56,764.32b

Never give your children toy instrument recorders, despite them being identical is form, color and pitch.

Because..................

They will argue over who can play the loudest and longest

and then....

truly it is the parents who suffer

and in this case that is me.



I hear my bathtub calling my name and my friends White wine and Vicodin are there too........
Follow the light..... yes... yes... follow the light........
Oh wait.... Xanax is making it a race. RUN RUN RUN

So pleasant so beautiful I can see it... I can smell the lavendar......
sweet sweet ...


GOD DAMMIT who left a SpiderMan on the stairs for mommy to fall on???
UGH QUIET !! Don't blow those so loud.
You are giving mom a headache!!!
YOU JUST ATE!
Yes I love you both soooo much but you are KILLING MOMMY

Please please someone hire me...

Wiping the slate clean.....

Oh and since I am already fired, why not add to the mix, what can I get more fired? I could sit here and write an expose' on all the illegal goings on in that company, but am I so bitter that I would do that? Hmmmmmm, maybe.



It kills me that Conner our oldest, 5 1/2, will not wipe his own arse.


I have shown him.
I have let him sit there an hour.
I have offered a reward.

What do I get?


Mom its gross.
NO SHIT.
Poop is gross.
I don' want to wipe my arse more than I want to wipe your arse but we all have to do it.
For God sake's child you are going into kindergarten please boy try!
Utter refusal
This child tries my patience to the brink of me having a break down.
Why bidets are not common place is beyond me, it is far more sanitary than this paper wiping action.


Then there is Evan, sweet cherubic, mild mannered perfect in every way Evan.
WHO WON'T GET NEAR A POTTY.
WTF?
I let him run naked almost all day, not so much as a dribble.
Finally put on a diaper... let the river flow.

I break out in song I don't know how many times a day.

"Kids!
I don't know what's wrong with these kids today!
Kids!
Who can understand anything they say?
Kids!
They a disobedient, disrespectful oafs!
Noisy, crazy, dirty, lazy, loafers!
While we're on the subject:
Kids!
You can talk and talk till your face is blue!
Kids!
But they still just do what they want to do!
Why can't they be like we were,
Perfect in every way?
What's the matter with kids today?
Kids!
I've tried to raise him the best I could
Kids! Kids!
Laughing, singing, dancing, grinning, morons!
And while we're on the subject!
Kids! They are just impossible to control!
Kids! With their awful clothes and their rock an' roll!
Why can't they dance like we did
What's wrong with Sammy Caine?
What's the matter with kids today!"

THEY think I am NUTS, but really THEY ARE... THEY ARE!
OMG I need a job I was not cut out to stay home

Just to update...

This post below.....dated May 30th, got me fired from my job. I was a Vice President at an Equipment Finance company in Salt Lake City, Utah. Unreal. Oh also, because I was terminated I got denied unemployment. It is a fabulous story, really. TRUST me on this one.

Trash Man Triathalon

*sigh*

Friday comes every week. And so does the garbage man.
Every Thursday night I get a giant leaf and yard bag from the garage and I go up stairs and gather all the garbages dragging the green plastic leaf and lawn bag behind me down 2 flights of stairs....into the office... I even ask Michael to move his grubby feet so I can get the can by the computer, the bathroom, the laundry room, clean out the lint traps, the fabric softener sheets that have found themselves all over the floor. I then drag the bag down another flight of stairs to the play room. Satisfied I am all collected I begin the trek back up the next two flights of stairs to the kitchen where I take the kitchen back and tie it up and get it into the great green monster. Spraying the kitchen garbage with Lysol and adding in a fresh gripper bag. I end by lugging the great green monster to the back door. In plain site. I leave it there, not because I am lazy but as a 'gentle' reminder. Saying in my mind, "hey stupid fucking idiot, for once take the trash out to the curb the night before", smiling washing my hands and making my way to the bedroom.
Friday morning I awake like Snow White, the birds are singing and in the distance I hear the crunching of the Blue Trash Truck. I look over at my husband sleeping so sweetly. I shower, I blow dry. Aww, husbands they are so cute when they sleep, ugh gross did he just fart in his sleep? Off to my make up table...oooh he stirs.
"Good morning honey, I love you"
"Oh Michael I love you too"
"ohhh I wanna stay in bed"
"Yes that would be fun. Oh honey, did you hear that? Sounds like the trash truck is on the next street, did you get the cans out?" Let the Benny Hill Music Begin.......
"OH FUCK! I FORGOT" (as I am thinking you shit it is fucking Friday like all the other fucking Fridays before. FRIDAY DOESNT MOVE!!!)
The covers are thrown off, he dancing around having to pee, should he pee, should he dress, CRAP!!! What is a man to do? He is hopping around where are his shorts, oh fuck screw it HE HAS TO PEE!!!!
OK peeing over now where are the damn shorts.
Calmly back at my makeup table, out my window I see the garbage man, I want to wave but I hate to distract him from the Playboy on the seat next to him. His rotund round belly spilling over to the steering wheel, constantly glancing over into that other seat. Damn, must be a good Issue. Still just smiling, applying lip liner.
"Damn, Hun why didn’t you wake me?"
"Wake you, why Michael, It's Friday, Garbage is here every Friday for 3 years. Did you forget on this Friday? Is it a special Friday? Have I forgotten something? Oh dear?" Mmmmmm I feel vindication bubbling.
Still half dressed and his shoes not even close to on he is stumbling down the stairs like and entire herd of buffalo I hear "God Dammit" and a crash.... Ooopsie, someone ran into the table. Funny, that table too has been there for 3 years. I then hear...
"Did you get the garbages?"
Not being one to yell I walk slowly and calmly down the stairs, "Michael, what do you think is in that bag? Fresh kill from my last night adventures? Of course I got the Garbages, right there, in the giant green bag!"
"Oh, I didn't see it"
Smiling inside I head back upstairs to serenity. Thinking, I didn't see. Note to self, have my husband schedule an eye appointment, we have a major issue.
Crashes, stumbles, cursing all the way, A 42 year old out of shape barely dressed man in is socks running to the curb. And to think YOU CAN SEE THIS SHOW EVERY FRIDAY. 7:30 AM!!
Brushing my sable Bobbie Brown Brush gently over my cheek I decide I could use a bit more bronzer today and for a moment I think, I wonder, besides Playboy, what does that Garbage man witness in a lifetime.
I ponder, after ten years of marriage... is this a game? What is Michael thinking about me. Oh to get in his head. Never mind.
Hmmmmmm and with a deep breath and I pick up the bronzer.